Clarke Griffin
from the cw's the 100
written by: dani
Clarke has tried to explain it to her, life on the ark,
and it’s easier to picture now that she’s seen the
place they call Exodus. But to not have water, to
not be able to swim? It’s beyond what Lexa can
fathom. Her head tilts slightly, the start differences
between them still surprising her sometimes. Clarke
openly admits her faults, inabilities, something Lexa
has always been taught never to do. Wading back
towards the blonde, Lexa offers a hand to Clarke.
“Then I will teach you.”
clarke senses lexa’s vexation plainly written on her face,
as if she found it completely unimaginable to grow up without
learning how to swim. there had been pools in the ark once,
or so she’d heard, in the early years, but was shut down due
to complaints and further need for water. she’d dreamed of
swimming back then, when she was younger, but now, when
she is faced with the real thing, she can’t help but hesitate
when she takes lexa’s hand.
’ is it safe ? ’
(Source: skaifallen-blog, via hxdaleksa-blog)
‘ something doesn’t … feel right.
i feel like i’m gonna be sick. ‘
she’s been feeling that a lot recently. long
nights and days with no food – – she
thought she’d feel nothing, but waves of
nausea have been attacking her recently,
and it’s making her hard to focus. and since
there was no other doctor around, raven
figured she’d go to the closest thing they
had to one, instead.
‘ what’s wrong with me ? ‘
’ c'mere.
————how do you feel ? ’
clarke’s spent the entire day patching up wounds
ranging from stab wounds to simple colds and minor
cuts and she’s about ready to collapse into her tent
and sleep for days, when raven comes in and though
she feels like she’s half asleep at the moment, she’s
never been one to put her needs in front of others so
she forces herself awake and feels raven’s face with
the back of her hand, and nearly recoils at the warmth
radiating from it.
’ christ, raven you’re burning up. ’
(Source: floatyoursclf, via floatyoursclf)
Dirt is never something that has bothered her.
After all, this is earth, and there’s an abundance
of it here. But she sees the eagerness in Clarke’s
eyes when they com across the river, and they
stop, kneeling by the banks for a few moments
before starting in at their feet. Without her armor,
Lexa has no aversion to submerging herself, if
only to wash off the stench of smoke still clinging
to both herself and her clothes. She’s wading
deeper, the water brushing against her hips in
a gentle manner, when Clarke’s voice stops her.
“Of course.
-You don’t?”
clarke is only left to gape at the commander, before thinking that
of course lexa knew how to swim. she was born and raised on
the ground. she stares warily at the grounder who was now chest
deep in the water. clarke herself was only sitting on the far shore of
the banks, the water only coming up to her waist, and she was only
sitting down. it wasn’t that she was scared of the water, but she remembers
jumping off mount weather after anya only to land in the water and feeling
completely HELPLESS at the hands of the unrelenting depths, blacking
out at the deprivation of air. she thinks she’d like to learn, if only not
to feel that helpless in a world made mostly of oceans.
’ no.
——–but i’d like to learn. ’
(Source: skaifallen-blog, via hxdaleksa-blog)
whilst she may be smiling, she is not looking towards the other.
the other woman enters the room, & octavia is still gazing outside.
it’s wondrous to her, the earth, still. she’s been here fifty something
days, & it never ceases to amaze her. pale blue skies, not a cloud to
be seen, & yet she’s trapped inside, having to spend her day away
from the others, for no good reason.
“ why am i being kept here, clarke? “
she bears little love for her these days, ever since the mountain. ever
since the bomb. & now she’s being forced to spend the day with a
woman she dislikes; joyous.
the first thing she notices when she walks in the medbay is how quick octavia’s smile drops at the sight of her. clarke tries not to feel anything much less anger or worse, disappointment. every footstep she takes echoes off the metal floor as she moves closer to the frowning brunette. octavia had returned from a hunting trip two days prior with a gash on her left side, blood pouring from the wound like there was no tomorrow. but, this is the GROUND, so that often happens. if a stab wound was all octavia came home with, she’d be free to leave, get away from her, because clarke knows octavia’s dislike for her is no big secret, but she comes back with a strange looking rash on her neck that did not look safe or even remotely natural and a dangerously high fever that induces sleep that lasts for days. clarke only moves forward and hands octavia a mirror and firmly tilts her chin as to expose the now violently b l u e patch of skin
’ because of that.
——wanna tell me how you got it ? ’
they weren’t sure if it was contagious or not, but clarke’s mother refused to take the risk, and closed down the medbay for quarantine leaving clarke in charge of octavia; great.
(via spacebuilt-a1-deactivated201708)
they are both bloody, injured, and tired, so when clarke stumbles onto the coolclear water, she barely flinches when her skin touches the river. she wearily soaks her hands and arms, watching the tendrils of blood join the clear water before fading away. she is vaguely aware of lexa cleaning herself, when she hears soft splashing beside her. in another time, one where they weren’t almost killed clarke might’ve felt some sort of self consciousness, but this is now and they are both full clothed anyway, so clarke doesn’t bother. the river is deep in the middle, but shallow along the banks, so that is where they stay. but she sees the commander wander closer to the deep end, and a soft sort of panic rushes through her.
’ do you know how to swim ? ‘
’ thank you. ’
she says as if that’s enough to make up for the fact that
he has probably saved her life twice,
in this entire trip, but her chest is heaving,
and her head is spinning so those two words are the only things she offers to show her gratitude.
‘ i am being still ——
you’re just IMAGINING things. ’
he’s lying, obviously,
but the alternative is admitting that it
HURTS too much to sit still ——
&& he certainly doesn’t believe in expressing PAIN.
after all, he’d once tried to murder jasper over just that.
‘ why don’t you just LEAVE me, anyway?
i’m obviously not gonna be able to walk,
&& it’ll be hard enough finding your way back without helping ME. ’
it’s not that he doesn’t appreciate her help…
he just doesn’t understand it.
’ murphy you’re shaking like a leaf. ’
she’s just incredibly tired of his bullshit where he pretends it doesn’t hurt like hell, but she lets him go on with it because she knows nothing she says will make him change so she focuses on the task at hand, trying to work around murphy’s incessant shaking that could only mean that he was, in fact, in pain.
’ look. i know you think i don’t like you—-
and you’d be right.
but if you think for one SECOND i’m leaving you out here,
then you’re crazy. ’
he may be a dick, but he is one of her people. && she always protects her people.
(Source: strungmeup-archive-blog, via strungmeup-archive-blog)
The reaction is all but expected, and Lexa herself reacts
little. Flesh toned lips are pressed together into a thin line,
but the remainder or her expression is devoid of any emotion.
‘I did not do it lightly. I had to S A V E my people.’
in truth clarke understands why the commander did it. it may not be the only choice she had, but it was the only one that got all her people out safely. clarke doesn’t doubt she wouldn’t have taken the deal had it been given to her. but she is far from rationality at the moment because she feels so very very lost at the moment standing in the empty dropship with only lexa as company, and she’d rather die than to let the commander see her inner turmoil so she spits out her reckless words, seething with anger that does not come from lexa’s betrayal, because oh she doesn’t wanna care, because she has cared to much and it has gotten her nothing.
’ so you think that justifies you sacrificing my people for yours ? ‘
(Source: skaifallen-blog, via praeefectus)
she is not a hero. but she’d gladly be called a villain if it means protecting her people.
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